Twitter ki haseen duniya

In the past few days I have been reading and hearing a lot about twitter. Barkha Dutt hosted a show on "We the people(tweeple)" (too lazy to put the link) where people discussed what's ethical on twitter, whether twitter can be regarded as an alternate form of journalism, whether twitter is invading our privacy, and of course Chetan Bhagat cribbing about how he was wronged etc. Then there were a few people who went on a Twitter detox. They stayed away from twitter for about 15 days. All these people went on a detox because of various reasons. But some of the reasons were really lame like

• We were first to join twitter
• We used to have intellectual conversations on twitter and now it's just noise
• Twitter is invading privacy

I am no brand ambassador of twitter, but being in the Internet Industry and also following social-media closely , let me tell you how I feel.

Twitter is the new age journalism : People say that twitter is not credible enough. But you got to realize that it's an individual who builds credibility. If I am a budding journalist and I keep on pushing good content/news on twitter, people will start following me. Yes, there is a lot of noise, but that's the beauty of twitter. It's your prerogative to follow the right kind of people for a particular subject(in this case news). People have an issue with false breaking-news (especially local news) published on twitter by individuals. But again you got to realize, it's just a starting point of a news. If I tweet that there's a fire in the next building, you are not supposed to believe me. Instead you have got a lead, you need to verify the fact through other sources.

Also, it works as a great tool to market your blogs, flickr albums, graphic art etc. There are no strict rules to define what qualifies as media. One-to-many flow of information has every right to be called a news medium.

Twitter ethics : I have argued about this a lot with friends and colleagues. General stance is that no one has the right to take a dig at some person (generally celebrities). But I say, my twitter account is my space. I haven't asked you to follow me. If you do , then you have no right to question what I tweet. The best moderation on Internet works on the fundamental principle of all users becoming moderators. WikiPedia is a success because the users make it a point to moderate what other users are writing. You cannot moderate everything on your site. Involve the users to report spam, and it works wonders. Similarly, on twitter if a guy keeps on cursing people, he will be shunned in general by all. So, don't be a moral police on Twitter.

As for the whole detox thing :

• If you were the early twitter good for you. But yes, its not your own property. People will join , like it or hate it.
• We used to have intellectual conversations on twitter and now it's just noise : Dude , I was a party to your conversation. Exchanging rhyming drunken tweets is not being intellectual. Chances of finding 10 intellectual tweets from 1000 users is much preferable than 2 intellectual tweets from 100 users. And I know what your problem is. You enjoyed the early-movers advantage and you enjoyed the twitter celebrity status. Now, there are many more tweeple who are more witty and and their tweets are much more informative. Accept that. Don't like it get out of twitter. As for the noise part, yes, that's bound to happen. But you should know the art of separating grain from chaff. If not, your loss. Also, if you don't like a celebrity tweeting about his toilet habits, don't follow her. It's your choice so learn to deal with it.
• Twitter is invading privacy: Twitter is a platform. It's your choice to share what you want on twitter. You can control who wants to see your personal tweet. But if someone sees your tweet you don't have the right to complain. If you feel your virtual life is taking over your real life and friends, it's your problem and nobody else's. You have mixed your priorities. Don't find an scapegoat.

In all, Twitter is a medium. Enjoy it. Use it like the way you want to use it. Just like in life, be judgemental of your own tweeting habits and not of others.

MOTS: Jab tak meri jaan rahegi main tweetoonga

O Jeeves , Where art thou?

Yes, you got it right. I need a Jeeves in my life, not a girl-friend, not a wife, not a room-mate, but a re-incarnation of Jeeves.

There are two maids that barge in every morning. One does the cooking and she is good at it. The problem is, I eat the same food in the morning, lunch and dinner. Then there's the second maid who does the cleaning and washing. Now, she is the tricky one. She won't do anything unless and until she is told. And whenever I try to get hold of her, she doesn't react. All she says is "Bhaya, hum kal kar degi, aap darwazaa band kar legi" and she scoots out of the door even before I can utter a word. And then there's this perennial problem of me having to get-up and instruct maids. Too much effort and pain. Result : Only the floors are clean and nothing else. Everything else is unmoved (even a empty cigarette packet on the bed is un-touched for weeks).
And since both the maids come early morning, it means i cannot leave the house to play tennis/squash. I am not saying that I would be prompt in getting-up in the morning with hangover and I would be straight-away on the tennis court, but who minds having an option. I am just saying.
Then comes the problem of clothes. Yes, the maid washes my clothes regularly. But getting hold of the press-waala to get my clothes ironed is a big pain. Also, my Bagheera needs some cleaning everyday. Getting that done is again a big issue with me running after office-drivers and begging them to clean my car.
And finally who minds getting back home all-drunk to find out hot peeli daal and fresh chapatis served on the table.
You might say that ideally I need a house-servant who is there 24/7 and not a Jeeves. But then we have to dig deeper here. If I have a Jeeves, this is what happens

• Above-mentioned problems are solved automatically
• I will not have to worry about the ACs, Geysers, RO systems, electrical appliances getting fixed.
• I will not have to think about bhindis, torais,baingans, aaloos and tamatars.
• Whenever I host a party at my place, there's ice-cubes and cold water in the refrigerator.
• I will get fresh coffee every morning
• All my bills will be paid.
• Very important : My parents won't find the house and my state of affairs at the devils mercy and hence they won't sell the case of marriage to me
  
• Stop looking for more bullet points. Its an endless list of my laziness.

In short, I need a "gentleman's personal gentleman".

Kya aap kisi Jeeves ko jaante hain?
Kya aapke aas-paas koi Jeevs saans le raha hai?
Kya koi Jeeves hai jo kisi ka ghar sanwaar raha ho and he 's looking to shift to greener pastures.

If your answer is in affirmative for any of the above questions, you know what to do.

The grass ain't so green on the other side

Rant alert !!!!!!

Well, I am into sixth month of the new job. And I have more questions than answers. I had always wanted to shift to Internet-media. And my dream came true with this new job. The profile is good. The product I am responsible for is a big one -Making a famous youth newspaper into a youth-centric news/entertainment portal. A lot of ideation happened. I had so many ideas I wanted to implement. Everything was very challenging and fun. Then came the implementation. And that is when I realized the incompetencies all around. Ninety percent of the people who are supposed to work on the technology are useless. I sometimes wonder whether they are fools or the people who hired them are. Coming from a technology-rich background it gives me pain when I see people giving excuses instead of working on the problems. The office smells of politics and bitching. Sometimes I look around and wonder what am I doing here. Its like you want to run at 100kmph and your team strolls at 10kmph.
I discuss this with my friends and all of them tell me how one should extract the best out of each person even if they are not so competent. But there is nothing good that can be extracted from these morons. Instead your creativity and exuberance goes for a toss.
Even the work-culture ain't at par. The online division is part of a big media-house but it runs in a start-up mode. There are no salary-slips, half a dozen leaves throughout the year, non-existent HR etc.
This job was supposed to be my launching pad in the Internet domain. But that doesn't seem to be happening. What are my options ?

1. Wait for a year, launch a couple of portals, build my resume, and then say ciao to this job. The problem is will I be able to jhelofy it for another six months?
2. Start looking for a new job and hope that the new place will better than this. The catch here is that I have only six months of relevant experience. Will I again have to compromise on my compensations?
3. Don't actively look for a job, but be open to anything that comes along.

I think my dreams to make it big in this industry will have to wait. Methinks we will go with option 3 and play the waiting game. I didn't want to bitch about work but when you want to do so much , but your efforts are minimized due to someone else's inefficiency, all you can do is crib about it.

In other news, I took the Bagheera to the hills. Went for a vacation to Fagu(near shimla) with my best friend and had a great time. The drive in the hills was amazing. And a relaxing vacation was icing on the cake.

One of my best friends from college got married. It was a tarditional Bori Muslim wedding. And I was surprised how similar their customs are to Hindu customs. Also, my friend and his family kept on explaining each and every custom and also the history of Bori Muslims. And the food in the JamaatKhaana was amazing. You have huge plate in the centre with 5-6 people sitting around it. It's called a thaal. The meal is a five course thing , alternating between mithaas(sweet) and kharaas(salty). So the meal started with rabdis and ice-cream and mithaiis. This was followed by kebabs and tandoori dishes. The third course was again sweet with kheer and stuff, followed by dabba ghost and paaya. Just when I thought I was done, the main-course was announced. Amazing experience it was. If you ever get a chance to attend a Muslim wedding and you love non-veg, grab the opportunity with both hands.

Life = Randomness. Q.E.D.

Proud owner of my Bagheera.

Among other news, I won an iPod nano for the best blog in my company. Also, my boss gave me an iPhone to play with for a month. Sad part is that I am in love with the iPhone which means that I will be tempted to buy one after I have returned the phone. Good part is that I love my job :).

Also, getting a lot of pressure from my family to get married. The problem is that I don't buy this arranged marriage thing. The bigger problem is that I cannot explain this fact to them. So a lot of tension in the air is expected in the coming days.

Over this past few months I have tried to analyze myself. And I realized that I am not good with relationships whether its family or friends. I don't want to be tied down. I want to do a lot of things in my life. With relationships come compromises.

And after being in a relationship, I know that these compromises are worth the effort. These compromises become insignificant in front of the person you love.

But, right now, I don't need that. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do, where to go, what to eat etc. I want to be a free bird. I don't want to lie to my gf/wife that I am in office meeting when the truth is that I am having fun with my friends in a bar. I want to have the freedom to work 16 hours a day without the tension that someone is waiting for me. I have the option to just pack my bag and leave.

I am enjoying the randomness in my life. Anything that falls in a pattern scares me. And relationships bring patterns. They bring expectations. I don't want that. But, will people understand? I doubt that.

But I do want to be the "master of my fate and the captain of my soul"

P.S. - This blog is now more than two years old. Happy birthday blog!!

chalte-phirte

The reasons I have been away

• I have been extremely busy with my work. I have been travelling to places like Kanpur and Lucknow (and yes, I didn't even get enough time to eat Tunde kawab). I am on the phone for more than 3 hours a day. Excel sheets, product specifications, hirings & meetings are the new seasons in my life. Every three days I have to go to the "recieved calls" in my cell and call up all the people who have been trying to call me (and that includes my parents). Busy, but loving every moment of it.
• I have been busy managing my bank accounts. Every job shift means new salary account. My idea of going paperless, when it comes to paying my bills, always goes for a toss.
• Have been busy reading reviews of cars and talking to dealers . Yes, finally finally finally, I am buying a new car. Time to bid good-bye to my Ferrari/dhanno/Punjab-di-kudi/maruti-800.
• have been decently busy with partying on weekends. With all the work and travel, my pending social-engagement list is ever growing. Mere dimaag ke calculations kehte hain ki I need 4 clones of me to finish the current list in a month's time . Tabhi aayega dynamic equilibruium(I so loved this phrase in Chemisty :P) between the length of the list and number of weekends.

But dear readers, I have atleast churned out seven posts in one and half months on my other blog (See last post). And let's be fair. Who wouldn't want a big bumper prize for two months of regular blogging. Secondly, it's fun to give the big-shot editors a run for their money.My blog has been more popular than the top editors. Its not only about good content, but also using social-media to market it. In short, "It's not the age , but the mileage." :P. And thirdly who doesn't enjoy comments on posts. I am getting quite a few of them on that blog. So let me finish these two months of blogging on the company blog, and then me wills be the backs.

Pimping for a cause

I rarely do it, but once in a while har insaan besharam bann hi jaata hai ya yeh samaaj usse besharam hone pe majboor kar deta hai.

So the thing is, we just launched a blogging site (targeted mainly at the hindi users) where the editors and the users blog on the same platform. Now, my boss asked me to blog on it. I immediately obliged. When my colleagues read my posts and saw the comments, they got excited about blogging.

Next, my boss came up with a competition. She announced that the person with the best blog in the company will get a surprise bumper prize at the end of two months. And the prize, methinks, is an IPhone. I got excited about this competition. Having lost the phone just a week back, I have decided I need to win this competition.

So, since last week I have been pimping my blog and my posts on facebook as well as on twitter. I thought - why not here. Hence, ladies and ledas , kindly take a look at Social Bakwaas. Read through my posts, increase the page views and do leave a comment. In return, you will get to read 3-4 posts. :P

Kripya meri besharmi ko bardaasht karein.

A Journey called 2009 and a Thought called 2010

OK, before I tell you where I have been since my last post, let me tell you what just happened. I opened my blog to write about 2009 and how I see 2010 is going to shape-up. So this is what followed

• Go to the last post of 2008. No year-ending post.
• OK, chill. No issues.
• Go to first post of 2009 where I must have written about 2008. No posts in January.
• Something is wrong.
• Go back to 2008 archive. #Fail.
• Check 2009. First post is in February.
• WTF #$!%&

I had written no post saying good-bye to 2008 or welcoming 2009. What the hell was I doing? Year-ending posts are the easiest ones to do and knowing the fact that I am very lazy in putting up new posts, why didn't I do a new post . Methinks, I was busy partying :P.

Anyway, so after this major disappointment with my blogging habit , the next thought came up in my mind. I made a general observation of all my posts. And there was a striking inference to be drawn. If you read my blog, you can easily judge the amount of effort going into each post : The more the bullet points in the posts, the more lazy I am writing that post, hence less the effort put-in.

And while I was thinking about my writing habit, I couldn't stop but realize that this particular post will be full of bullets. Without further ado, I shoot my bullets :

Do-hazaar-Nau ki kahani goli (bullet) ki zubaani

• Early 2009 was full of parties. I was convincing myself that 2009 will be a great year. Things will change. They actually did.
• I had my debut on the arranged married front. Thank god it was the last. Will come back to it later.
• Lots of road-trips happened. Jaisalmer, Mumbai, Rishikesh (rafting), Jaipur/Ajmer, Gushaini (near Manali), Panchmarhi. Other places visited by chuk-chuk gaadi and Udan Khatolas was Mumbai, Bangalore & Kanpur.
• Couple of best friends got married. Implication - fewer people left for drunken revelry.
• Met Selene. Implication - Found my soul-mate literally & we are bestest of friends for life.
• Found my love for photography.
• Got a chance to drive a Fiat 500, and sit at the rear-wheel of a Jaguar XFR.
• And finally, my job switch. I cribbed all through the year about how I hate my software job and how I wanted to move to Internet-media. The switch happened in November, and am having the time of my life at the new job. People do question my shift of career and my package, but I really enjoy telling them how wrong they are in questioning my actions. So don't even try.

In all, I loved 2009. The year put my life back on track on got my engine started whether it was the personal or the professional front. And now some more shooting to follow on 2010

• Very busy professional life is expected. And I am dying to get neck-deep into work. And it will be a make or break year for my stint in Internet-media.
• I hope I get to do some road-trips hopefully to Leh/Ladakh, Kufri/Narkanda etc.
• Travel will definitely be on cards.
• Marriage will be the toughest deal this year. My parents will be pushing for it big-time. And as days go by, I am getting more and more convinced that marriage might just be overrated. I have stated discussing it with friends as I am seriously thinking of giving it a pass. So lets see where I end-up on the marriage front.

How 2010 turns out is for me to see and for the year to unfold. But, since my birthday is on 20th Oct. (20/10) I have a gut feeling that this is going to the most memorable year of my life. And my gut, my dear readers, rarely disappoints me. :). So stay close to me and you will see a little extra positive energy coming into your life this year.

A very happy new year to you all. My Mantra for 2010 is "party hard, work harder". Cheers