Sunday, February 15, 2009

Debut "Match"

Its been a long long time since I put up a post. Many things have happened in these two months. To start with is the whole process of arranged marriage. Yes, you heard it right!!!

Life never stops from springing up new surprises. Today, I met a girl for an informal chit-chat - one of those those things when the guy and the girl meet-up and try to find out whether they can be a prospective match for life or not. And the best part about the whole thing is 15th Feb 2008 I was to get married to White, and 15th Feb 2009 is the day when I start meeting girls for marriage. How more ironical can life get.

Someone once asked me whether I believe in the concept of "arranged-marriage" or not. And all I could do was laugh at it. Yes, there was a time when I found the whole concept, rather stupid. But you never know what's coming next. The year started with my parents asking me whether they should start looking for a girl or not. And I had no reasons to say no. This is how the situation is :

- I am from a family where nobody has gone for a love-marriage. I was turning out to be an exception but that didn't happen. It's not that my family is against love-marriage but they would prefer an arranged-marriage anyday.

- People ask "what's the hurry - Wait till you find the right girl". I , being all logical and stuff, gave it a serious thought. And this is what I realised. To wait for the right girl, you must meet one. But for that to happen you should have a social-life where you meet a lot of new people and if you are lucky you will meet your match. But my social life isn't like that. There are no girls in office so you rule out office-romance( unless I do change my job :) ). In my circle of friends people are either married,committed or are meeting prospective grooms. My circle of friends is also not so big that new people keep coming in. And above all, let's suppose that I do meet a girl - Am I ready to fall into love? I don't think so. Its not that I haven't been able to put White out of my life. The thing is I am kind of exhausted from my last relationship to get into a new one.

- And the third things is my friend Rib getting engaged. He went for arranged-marriage. He met a couple of girls and then found one to be nice and compatible. The parents met. They were happy. Rib and the girl Dit are going through a courtship-period and now they are so much into love that no one can say that their marriage is an arranged one. I know things cannot be as rosy for everyone but at least there's hope. I always used to say that arranged-marriage is like a game of probability where the chances of winning is 50%. But isn't that true for love-marriage. You are in love with a girl but when you start your married life, it might be totally different. At least in arranged-marriage if you are on the losing 50% side you can make an extra effort to compromise and reduce the damage. Stupid logic,I know, but these things are just to convince myself.

So, the search has started and I scored my first runs today and after today's day of play I am still not "bowled-out". The meeting was interesting. The tiny little creatures that you see in the garden, sitting on flowers were hovering around in my stomach before meeting the girl. It was just like a debutante facing his first delivery in cricket. After middling a few balls ( read a few minutes of chatting) I grew in confidence. We talked for two hours. And thankfully it was not like the question-answer sessions where you ask about hobbies, music, food etc. We generally talked. It was an okay chit-chat but somehow I didn't find .. umm how do i say ..well in terms of physics it wasn't a constructive interference ( in simple words it wasn't a harmony). Later on my parents asked me about my meeting and I had a real tough time explaining to them that even though the girl was nice, she isn't what I am looking for. For all of you who haven't gone through the process let me tell you this is the tough part where you got to explain to your parents why you didn't like the girl/boy. But thats's not it. The toughest part is saying "No". I find it real hard to say no to people even for small things in life. How do you say no to a girl or her parents. I really feel bad for the girl. This is cruel. You meet a guy and later on the guy says no. I am sure that doesn't leave you with the happiest of feelings. Maybe, that's how things happen on this side of the fence. I feel like saying sorry for saying "no". :(

Anyway, let's see what else life has in store and what new lessons it teaches me.

Among other things, 2009 is turning out to be a decent year. I am doing a lot of road-trips. My first trip was to Jaisalmer. We did 940 kms in eleven and half hours!!! What a drive it was through the desert. Next, we did a road-trip from Delhi to Mumbai in a Scorpio. Two of my friends flew from Mumbai to just be a part of the road-trip. We started on a Saturday and reached Udaipur the same night. Interesting thing was the hotel we stayed-in was the same one which was used in MTV roadies :P. Anyway we reached Mumbai on Sunday night.

Whenever I go to Mumbai there is a long list of people whom I have to meet. This time my flight back to Delhi was on Monday evening. So it was not possible to meet everyone. And if I am in Mumbai and I am not meeting my favourite e-friend Moo, I know I am dead. So met Moo on Monday, we went to Strand book fair where I bought lots and lots of books and a few Asterix & Obelix at discounted price. Such book fairs are so enticing that the best way to describe my feeling is -orgasmic. And if your partner in crime is someone as well read as Moo you are in for a treat. Next, Moo treated me with some awesome steaks in Colaba. This was our second meeting, but every time you meet this girl its like you have been knowing each-other for ages. No initial long-pauses, no looking at plates o playing with straws. Straight away you are into a deep conversation on a topic as weird as " have you listened to this ring tone where this Aunty is cursing a hair-dresser ...... @##$%% " . I had a lovely time with Moo. People, if you really want a de-stressing lunch full of weird conversations where you laugh your lungs out, catch hold of her.

Anyway, my next trip was to Jaipur for Rib's engagement. This was followed by a trip to Jim-Corbett where we, obviously, didn't spot a tiger on jungle safari.

Job-hunt is still on. Looks like my passion for Internet -media will have to wait till these troubled times are over.

Other updates some other time.

P.S - I am planning to start a photo-blog. I hope I don't take as much time in starting it as I do in updating this blog. This blog won't be with this anon id.

Till then, today's song is from the movie Fiddler on the Roof :)

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,

Make me a match,

Find me a find,

catch me a catch

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Look through your book,

And make me a perfect match

8 comments:

Moo said...

LOL! Prats going and meeting other girls!! I wish I was around to witness this... hahahaha!! But then, you'd never get married in your life. :P

Thanks for the tribute, (although the "weird conversation" bit could have been done without. :@ I'm NOT weird. :P)

Now when can I visit this blog next? Eight months later? :D

Anonymous said...

nice!

I am so going to catch Moo when I am in Bombay next...been wanting to meet her forevee!

And u Sir, you?? In delhi and not meeting e-pals from delhi haan?

The White Phoenix said...

@Moo - I am already up with the next post

@Chandni - Dilli waale e-pals not interested in meeting poor me .. toh main kya karuun :(

Prashant Raj said...

Shabaas mere cheete Shabaas....Ab aaya naa oont pahaar ke neeche....crime master gogo....ab dekh main kaise tera band master toto banaata hoon :)

Anonymous said...

LOL I understand your pain! Being a girl, the questions are different, but then the pressure is still pretty much the same. Explaining the No is a tough issue and then the "but he was such a nice boy" syndrome!

BTW, I found your blog from some other bog, don't even remember which one.

But it looks like you are enjoying yourself, so that is cool. Enjoy!

Pavi!!!! said...

Came here from Pri's..

i reallly KNOW how u feel abt the arranged marriage thing!

n ya..i have alwez believed that arranged and love marriages have an equal chance for working out.Marriage needs love,affection n effort from 2 ppl...love or arranged!

PS: Have been married for 2.5 yrs...n yes it was an arranged marriage!

All the Very Best! :)

Anonymous said...

Trust me, it can be very difficult for a girl to say no too. A bit about the guy's feelings ,yes. But more because its difficult to get it across to your parents and even more to your grandparents:(
Hope you find one soon!

Dhanya said...

Trust me, it's even more difficult for a girl to say no... especially since Indian girls are still given weird looks when they voice their opinions... nice post... could identify a lot with your situation there!