Saturday, March 6, 2010

Life = Randomness. Q.E.D.

Proud owner of my Bagheera.

Among other news, I won an iPod nano for the best blog in my company. Also, my boss gave me an iPhone to play with for a month. Sad part is that I am in love with the iPhone which means that I will be tempted to buy one after I have returned the phone. Good part is that I love my job :).

Also, getting a lot of pressure from my family to get married. The problem is that I don't buy this arranged marriage thing. The bigger problem is that I cannot explain this fact to them. So a lot of tension in the air is expected in the coming days.

Over this past few months I have tried to analyze myself. And I realized that I am not good with relationships whether its family or friends. I don't want to be tied down. I want to do a lot of things in my life. With relationships come compromises.
And after being in a relationship, I know that these compromises are worth the effort. These compromises become insignificant in front of the person you love.
But, right now, I don't need that. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do, where to go, what to eat etc. I want to be a free bird. I don't want to lie to my gf/wife that I am in office meeting when the truth is that I am having fun with my friends in a bar. I want to have the freedom to work 16 hours a day without the tension that someone is waiting for me. I have the option to just pack my bag and leave.

I am enjoying the randomness in my life. Anything that falls in a pattern scares me. And relationships bring patterns. They bring expectations. I don't want that. But, will people understand? I doubt that.

But I do want to be the "master of my fate and the captain of my soul"

P.S. - This blog is now more than two years old. Happy birthday blog!!