Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My Married Life

Yes, It will be 3 years on 3rd of July. And what a journey it has been. A sinusoidal waveform I would say. I write this post because I feel that it won't last long. And my Other Half(OH) knows it too. Its just that OH wants to live in denial.
Here are some random conversation which should give you a fair idea of our relationship.

Converstaion 1

OH : You are not spending enough time with me
Me : Yes, I was busy all of last week with work.
OH : I am not talking about last week. I am talking about last three months
Me : You cannot blame me. I don't find the marriage interesting anymore.
OH : Is there something going on in your personal life
Me : What has personal life got to do with marriage. And for the record nothing is going on.
OH : you can tell me you know.
Me : (exasperated) No there's nothing going on. I will try to spend more time.

Conversation 2

Me : I won't be home on Monday
OH : Okay.
(and just when I am about to leave)
OH : Why , may I ask?
Me : I am going to Bangalore.
OH : (with a resigned look and fearing a new love interest in my life) Why?
Me : Cousin's marriage.
OH : (sigh of relief) Okay.
This was followed by normal quizzical questions like when is the marriage, when is my flight etc.


I was having a chat with Selene (see you got your nick on the blog) the other day on the phone. FYI - Selene is my relationship advisor and knows everything that goes between OH and me

Me : I am not on talking terms with OH.
S : kya hua?
Me : Kuch nahi. OH said some things which did not feel right.
S : So did you discuss with OH
Me : No, we are royally ignoring each-other.

20 minutes later I sms Selene
Me : OH just asked me to have lunch together.
S : Are you going?
Me : Have to. But I am not liking the idea. Humara jhagdha khatam ho jaayega.
S : Kyun?
Me : You know we always end-up patching up over the lunch.
S : Free mein mat maan jaana. maang le jo bhi maangna hai.
Me : You know me. Dil humara bahut jaldi gir jaata hai daffatan. Hum fisal jaayenge like always.

And my dear readers that is what happened after 40 minutes of lunch :)


And here's another one. Again on the phone with Selene
Me : I am just tired of this marriage.
S : Ab kya hua?
Me : OH is pressurizing me again for the "issue" thing.
S : Toh problem kya hai?
Me : I don't want it now. And knowing that we will soon part ways , it's just not right.
Me : I am thinking of getting vasectomy done. Na rahega baans na bajegi bansoori.
S : That's not right. Why don't you file for a divorce. Go for a mutual and agreeable seperation
Me : That's not happening. I cannot go for a divorce unless I find someone else. You know about the pressures of family and society.
S : Hmmm. And why can't you find greener pastures
Me : The time is not right. And to look for a comaptible relationship is not easy these days.

And its not that I am hiding anything from OH. I have already informed OH that I will move on from this marriage whenever I get into a relationship where my heart is. Till then , both of us are leading a life of convinience. I am living with a hope to find the greener pastures and OH with a hope that things will change and I will never leave.

But truth be told, I do miss my Other Half (i.e. my boss at office) whenever he is on a leave. I am sure I won't have a better boss, but ist just that my hatred for my job sometimes affects my relationship with my "Other Half". :P

I dedicate this poem by Sunil Jogi to my "Other Half"

mushkil hai apna mail priye,
ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum MA 1st division ho, main hua matric phel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum fauji afsar ki beti, main to kisaan ka beta hoon,
tum rabadi kheer malai ho, main to sookha sapreta hoon,
tum AC ghar mein rehti ho, main ped ke neeche leta hoon,
tum nayi maruti lagti ho, main scooter lambreta hoon,
is kadar agar hum chup-chup kar aapas me prem badhayenge,
to ek roz tere daddy Amrish Puri ban jaaenge,
sab haddi pasli tod mujhe bhijwaa denge vo jail priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum arab desh kee ghodi ho, main hoon gadahe ki naal priye,
tum deewali ka bonus ho, main bhookho ki hadtaal priye,
tum heere jadi tashtari ho, main aluminium ka thaal priye,
tum chicken-soop biryani ho, main kankad waali daal priye,
tum hiran-chaokadi bharti ho, main hoon kachhue ki chaal priye,
tum chandan-wan ki lakdi ho, main hoon babool ki chhaal priye,
main pake aam sa latka hoon, mat maaro mujhe gulel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

main shani-dev jaisa kuroop, tum komal kanchan kaya ho,
main tan-se man-se Kanshi Ram, tum maha chanchala maya ho,
tum nirmal paawan ganga ho, main jalta hua patanga hoon,
tum raaj ghaat ka shanti march, main hindu-muslim danga hoon,
tum ho poonam ka taajmahal, main kaali gufa ajanta ki,
tum ho vardaan vidhata ka, main galti hoon bhagvanta ki,
tum jet vimaan ki shobha ho, main bus ki thelam-thel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum nai videshi mixie ho, main patthar ka silbatta hoon,
tum AK-saintalis jaisi, main to bas desi katta hoon,
tum chatur Rabadi Devi si, main bhola-bhala Lalu hoon,
tum mukt sherni jungle ki, main chidiyaghar ka bhaalu hoon,
tum vyast Sonia Gandhi si, main V.P.Singh sa khali hoon,
tum hansi Madhuri Dixit ki, main policeman ki gaali hoon,
kal jail agar ho jaaye to dilwa dena tum bail priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

main dhabe ke dhaanche sa hun, tum paanch sitara hotel ho,
main mahue ka desi tharra, tum red-label ki botal ho,
tum chitra-haar ka madhur geet, main krishi-darshan ki jhaadi hoon,
tum vishva-sundari si kamaal, main theliya chaap kabadi hoon,
tum sony ka mobile ho, main telephone waala chonga,
tum machhli maansarovar ki, main hun saagar tat ka ghongha,
dus manzil se gir jaaooga, mat aage mujhe dhakel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum satta ki maharani ho, main vipaksha ki lachaari hoon,
tum ho mamta-Jailalita si, main kwara Atal-Bihari hoon,
tum Tendulkar ka shatak priye, main follow on ki paari hoon,
tum getz, matiz, corolla ho main Leyland ki lorry hoon,
mujhko refree hi rehne do, mat khelo mujhse khel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,
main soch raha ki rahe hain kabse, shrota mujhko jhel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Ten ten-a-ten ten

Chandu tagged me for this. I generally skip tags but since I am so busy in office today, I had to do it. :(

  1. is the packet of cigarettes I smoke everyday. :P
  2. is the AM I go to sleep every night. I have one more on this. 2 is the number of hours I work in office.
  3. is the number of years I will complete in my first job in July. Koi bachaa lo. looks left,then right and then drowns in shame
  4. is the number of chocolates that have been cut from Chandu's quota of chocolates for making a lazybone like me do the tag.
  5. is the maximum number of push-ups, I think, I can do. Its also the number of games that I can play very well.(Cricket,basketball,volleyball,badminton, dumb-charades) sings "collar ko thoda upar utha ke"
  6. is the number of drinks(read whisky) till which I can guarantee 100% sobriety.
  7. is the average number of cups of coffee I generally drink everyday. Believe me, it took a lot of calculation to come to this figure.
  8. are the number of years left for me to open up my dream restaurant.
  9. is the number of Asterix&Obelix I need to buy to complete the set. Peoples kya aap suntee. Mere ko gift kartee, main aapko return gift me chocolates/ice-creams/brownies detee.
  10. is number of different types of single-malt whisky I want to keep in my bar.

Now my turn to play the devil. I tag everyone who has ever left a comment on my blog or is reading this particular post. If you don't do this tag then you will be hit by the following curse:

"Thou shalt never enjoy a drink
Thou wilt never enjoy ghar ka khana
Thou shalt hate books & comics
Thous shall hate movies."

So dare you skip this tag !!!