O Jeeves , Where art thou?

Yes, you got it right. I need a Jeeves in my life, not a girl-friend, not a wife, not a room-mate, but a re-incarnation of Jeeves.

There are two maids that barge in every morning. One does the cooking and she is good at it. The problem is, I eat the same food in the morning, lunch and dinner. Then there's the second maid who does the cleaning and washing. Now, she is the tricky one. She won't do anything unless and until she is told. And whenever I try to get hold of her, she doesn't react. All she says is "Bhaya, hum kal kar degi, aap darwazaa band kar legi" and she scoots out of the door even before I can utter a word. And then there's this perennial problem of me having to get-up and instruct maids. Too much effort and pain. Result : Only the floors are clean and nothing else. Everything else is unmoved (even a empty cigarette packet on the bed is un-touched for weeks).
And since both the maids come early morning, it means i cannot leave the house to play tennis/squash. I am not saying that I would be prompt in getting-up in the morning with hangover and I would be straight-away on the tennis court, but who minds having an option. I am just saying.
Then comes the problem of clothes. Yes, the maid washes my clothes regularly. But getting hold of the press-waala to get my clothes ironed is a big pain. Also, my Bagheera needs some cleaning everyday. Getting that done is again a big issue with me running after office-drivers and begging them to clean my car.
And finally who minds getting back home all-drunk to find out hot peeli daal and fresh chapatis served on the table.
You might say that ideally I need a house-servant who is there 24/7 and not a Jeeves. But then we have to dig deeper here. If I have a Jeeves, this is what happens

• Above-mentioned problems are solved automatically
• I will not have to worry about the ACs, Geysers, RO systems, electrical appliances getting fixed.
• I will not have to think about bhindis, torais,baingans, aaloos and tamatars.
• Whenever I host a party at my place, there's ice-cubes and cold water in the refrigerator.
• I will get fresh coffee every morning
• All my bills will be paid.
• Very important : My parents won't find the house and my state of affairs at the devils mercy and hence they won't sell the case of marriage to me
  
• Stop looking for more bullet points. Its an endless list of my laziness.

In short, I need a "gentleman's personal gentleman".

Kya aap kisi Jeeves ko jaante hain?
Kya aapke aas-paas koi Jeevs saans le raha hai?
Kya koi Jeeves hai jo kisi ka ghar sanwaar raha ho and he 's looking to shift to greener pastures.

If your answer is in affirmative for any of the above questions, you know what to do.