Selene Speaks...

There is no reason for this post.

Except that it’s the Phoenix’s blog. Who happens to be my best friend.

Who also happens to be a lazy ass. So if he’s not updating, I will!

And really, since he has honoured me with the name of a Greek goddess (no less!), the least I can do is try and sell him off.

Yeah, in exchange for all that love and good times he’s showered upon me, its time to return the favour, as he has firmly put “Find a girlfriend” as my top responsibility in the roster of friendship.

So here goes. It’s a simple auction ladies. We’re simple people, so we say it as it is.
We will get the Phoenix Boy on stage and you can take a good look. We start bidding, and you can raise your hand and quickly sum up your profile. Since the time’s less and takers many, without further ado, lets get this going! What do you mean why? Up for grabs this lovely guy, I ASSURE you is a catch!

Here comes the Star…

WAIT A SECOND.

No cat calls please. It distresses him.

Why you ask?? Oh, he’s a shy sort of a guy. He doesn’t mind making them calls though, he’s nice like that.

And you, Maam, leave that t-shirt alone. He’s not taking it off.

Are you guys even serious?? Lets get on with it then.

Silenceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Ok…what do we have here?? You there in the right corner…..ya the pretty one! Wait a minute, how old are you again?? No darling, 18 year olds are not allowed….no less than 25, do you here me?? We’re not in to cradle snatching.
Aah I see another hand, yes maam…you right there in the front?? Wait a minute, how old are you? 35? Aah, that holds promise…yes yes, the older woman fantasy and all that…wait …you said therapy sessions? He has to help deal with emo issues?? Err…you can check back later…we’re not entertaining emo at this point…

Who else…you yes you maam, in the pink halter…what do you mean an hour?? No lady, you can’t decide after…good lord, what’s with women these days!

And what does the one behind you have to say? A threesome? Err…no thanks. Not quite what we had in mind…

Come on, I need more hands…aah you there, you hold promise. And hot too. Yes, yes, nice smile….going…going…wait a second. What do you mean married? Sorry milady, married women are OUT. You don’t even qualify.
No maam, not even if you’re splitting. The HORROR!

And the one next to you, yes you right there in the black backless top…ugh ….no sister, your hair’s too short. …Hey don’t kill me. If you want to hear the truth, it’s the sight of all that hair on your back….and cover up the butt crack while we’re at it. Ugh.

Yes you, the red haired chick. You look promising….why’re you weeping? On the rebound eh? Deal with it and THEN come back. Women I tell you!

Is there no one there?? You Sir? What are you doing here? Marriage prospects? I am sorry but he’s straight…oh for your daughter you say? No Sir we’re just looking for a girl friend….what do you mean his bank balance? We’re not even answering that question. Get the GIRL here!

Sigh. Where are the women? You lady, yes? What? Are you serious? No he’s not going to give you a credit card, get the hell out of here. I am sorry if we didn’t advertise properly….we’re not selling off a SUGAR DADDY here!


Ummm…the last one…one at the back, yes you. Come closer…we want a better look too. Ahan, here’s something now. Nice hair, check. Long earrirngs too…we like where this is going….wait a minute…you want him to do what? Go on a date where your ex dines with his new chick to make him jealous? Are you even for real?? Out!

What now? NO, not even in exchange for a kiss, you hear me? OUT!

And you lady, I TOLD YOU. LET. GO. OF THE T-SHIRT! I said he’s NOT TAKING IT OFF.

Hmmph. So many women, and the right one’s out of stock. Sigh.

Never mind, the lad is too precious to give off to anyone, so I am keeping him till then!

Ta!

Time of my life

Okay, if you have been following my blog you will notice two things

- The frequency of posts (or the lack of it) is still the same.

- And last few of them have been all fun posts.

The second point is so because I am having the time of my life. I AM HAPPY. And that, in a way, also explains the first point. I am so busy enjoying my life that I don't have the time to post.

The obvious question that will come to you mind is "Bhai aisa kya ho gaya?"

The answer to that is :-

- My life is full of parties. And by parties I don't mean the typical boozing and clubbing effect. Its just that I am happy socializing with so many people that I feel, sometimes, that I have a life. Whenever I have to tell anyone that I won't be able to make it for lunch/dinner, I feel happy that I have the option to say "No". Life being busy is fun!!!

- My friends are back in life. Suddenly the pieces are falling into place. All I can say is, its like "Rock-On" happening in my life.

- Good things are happening to people around me this year as against to last. People are getting married, falling in love, getting out of a bad relationships, getting new jobs, getting though UPSC after three years of struggle, returning from wilderness with a new vigour, etc.

- I know what I want to do in life. Now, at least, there's a method to the madness.

- made new friends through this blog.

- And the most important reason. Finding a friend like Selene. One word for her is "Awesome". She says it best when she says " Abhi tak toh tum saansein le rahe the, jeena toh ab shuru kiya hai". And its so true. I have, indeed, re-discovered myself , thanks to her. The humour is back, and so is the infectious energy that I used to have.

In short,

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

- David cook

Sound of music ...

... is the reason why I am blogging at 5 in the morning. There are songs that give you goose-bumps, songs that completely hog your senses, songs that leave you in a trance.

I am a big admirer of "Madhushala" by Harivansh Rai Bachchan. I heard Manna Dey sing it while I was in college. I was immediately a fan of the song. But few months back I heard this, and Madhushala was never the same. I don't know whether it's Big B's voice or the music, but every time I listen to it, it takes me to another world.

Now, why am I blogging at this hour. Well, couple of days back, Nomad introduced me to this. I love sufi songs. But, somehow this was different. This song took me to some other level. I came back from office, opened up a beer, put my headphones and played this song. The idea was to relax and unwind. It ended up very differently. I have been listening to this song for 5-6 hours now and I am in a trance. There's so much peace and tranquility deep inside me that it cannot be explained in words. I have been sharing this song with anybody whom I see online. I had to share it here. Listen to it and fall in love with the power of music.

jo naa jaane haq ki taaqat,

rab naa deve usko himmat.

Hum mann ki dariyaa mein dooobe,

kaisi naiiyya , kya manjhdhaar.

Bas karee oh yaar, ilmu

bas karee oh yaar

Aik alif tere darkaar

bas karee oh yaar

"Say cheese" - Click -"Thank you"

I love photography. But I am not a serious photographer. I love to click emotions, moments, graffiti, nature etc. The best way to describe my camera-skills is to relate it to a Dhoni style of batting. Its not copybook, its not orthodox, but yes it wins you matches. Every time someone loves the photos that I click, its like I have won a match. 

I love to click 

• Close-up of people when they are totally unaware of the camera. Believe me, these unexpected clicks come out to be the best. And to blow my own trumpet, I think I time them well (its like the hand-eye co-ordination of Sehwag)
• Truck-graffiti. They are my favourite. Every time I am on the highway, I am ready with the camera to catch a funny one written at the back of the truck. 
• Dhaba-graffiti. Be it the entire menu written on the wall or a misspelled instruction/ad , all of it has to be captured
• Number-plates . Yeah, everyone has a weird streak in them. Mine is clicking number-plates of vehicles of different states or some interesting combination of numbers on the plates.
• Birds - The first photo that I clicked with my camera was of some bird. Since that day I have been clicking photos of birds. But its not like clicking photos of rare birds. I like to capture birds like sparrows, crows or pigeons but with an interesting setting. This has now extended to cats and dogs.
• Nature. Just like the whole of India knows how to play cricket, similarly every photographer likes to click beautiful sceneries and landscapes of snow-capped peaks, beaches,deserts etc. I am no exception. I do that form time to time.

You may say after reading this - " Okay, we get the picture. Point being?" Well, I will answer that question with another analogy from cricket (after all its cricket everywhere). What use is a cricketer if he hits sixes and fours in his backyard? The fun is in playing on a cricket ground with spectators watching you hit every ball. So, without much ado, ladies and ledas I present to you my photo-blog. 

And that takes away the anonymity of The White Phoenix but I think I am okay with. :) 

Edited to add: I am still trying to figure out my way through wordpress. Seems it will take a while to get the hang of it. Till thgen bear with me.

Tees naak-adaauu sawaal

I had been planning a post for quite sometime, but something or the other happened. Saw this and thought what better way to get away with the having-blog-not-posting guilt. So here are the 30 "nosey" questions.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? " Why is the mirror different today? Oops I am not at my place"

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now? Rs. 2732. Oh yes, I am a filthy rich s/w engineer. Hehaw

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Jungle ka Mor

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My OH(see previous post for details). Just cannot live without me

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? The opening credits from sholay.

6. What are you wearing right now? Let's see. A black striped shirt. Blue Jeans. Ek upar waala jockey aur ek neeche waala jockey. Bathroom slippers (yes i am in office). A watch.

7. Do you label yourself? As a lazybone (Mind you, I also take it as a compliment if anyone labels me that)

8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own? ID

9.Bright or Dark Room? Yellow room.

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? She is a Super-star and my best friend.

11. What does your watch look like? Its a Citizen with a black dial. My ex gifted it. And I like it so much that I cannot throw it. Selfish me :P

12. What were you doing at midnight last night? Drinking beer. Participating in an interesting discussion on print journalism.

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? “Dear customer, Please do not share your ATM pin and IPin with anyone ..... HDFC-Bank” Wtf. Why would I? Do they think ki mere forehead pe likha hua hai !@#$%^

14. What’s a word that you say a lot? Awesome

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children) The famous mosquito of my cubicle. People on my Facebook list would believe me on this

16. Last furry thing you touched? A cat at my friend's place.

17. Favourite age you have been so far? Present. Definitely

18. What was the last thing you said to someone? “Chalo, let's go catch some fresh air”. Smoking is what I meant of course

19.The last song you listened to? If I were a carpenter. Johnny Cash and Juen Carter

20. Where did you live in 1987? Dhanbad, India

21. Are you jealous of anyone? Anyone who is driving an Audi Q7 or a VW Tourag

22. Is anyone jealous of you? People in general are jealous about me working two hours a day yet getting paid.

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times? Wallet, mobile and watch

24. What’s your favourite town/city? None as of now.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? 2005 I think.

26. Can you change the oil on a car? I don't think so.

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? That she was having a party on her Birthday.

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now? My head . Either its the hangover or its the mundane job.

29.What is your current desktop picture? A beautiful photograph (which I clicked) of a bird with the sea in the background

30. Have you been burnt by love? In a way , yes. I had fun on that side of the town too.:P

Who ever takes this tag, do inform me. After all every one likes to be "nosey" from time to time ;)

My Married Life

Yes, It will be 3 years on 3rd of July. And what a journey it has been. A sinusoidal waveform I would say. I write this post because I feel that it won't last long. And my Other Half(OH) knows it too. Its just that OH wants to live in denial.

Here are some random conversation which should give you a fair idea of our relationship.

Converstaion 1

OH : You are not spending enough time with me
Me : Yes, I was busy all of last week with work.
OH : I am not talking about last week. I am talking about last three months
Me : You cannot blame me. I don't find the marriage interesting anymore.
OH : Is there something going on in your personal life
Me : What has personal life got to do with marriage. And for the record nothing is going on.
OH : you can tell me you know.
Me : (exasperated) No there's nothing going on. I will try to spend more time.


*****************************************************
Conversation 2

Me : I won't be home on Monday
OH : Okay.
(and just when I am about to leave)
OH : Why , may I ask?
Me : I am going to Bangalore.
OH : (with a resigned look and fearing a new love interest in my life) Why?
Me : Cousin's marriage.
OH : (sigh of relief) Okay.
This was followed by normal quizzical questions like when is the marriage, when is my flight etc.


*****************************************************

I was having a chat with Selene (see you got your nick on the blog) the other day on the phone. FYI - Selene is my relationship advisor and knows everything that goes between OH and me

Me : I am not on talking terms with OH.
S : kya hua?
Me : Kuch nahi. OH said some things which did not feel right.
S : So did you discuss with OH
Me : No, we are royally ignoring each-other.

20 minutes later I sms Selene
Me : OH just asked me to have lunch together.
S : Are you going?
Me : Have to. But I am not liking the idea. Humara jhagdha khatam ho jaayega.
S : Kyun?
Me : You know we always end-up patching up over the lunch.
S : Free mein mat maan jaana. maang le jo bhi maangna hai.
Me : You know me. Dil humara bahut jaldi gir jaata hai daffatan. Hum fisal jaayenge like always.

And my dear readers that is what happened after 40 minutes of lunch :)


********************************************************

And here's another one. Again on the phone with Selene
Me : I am just tired of this marriage.
S : Ab kya hua?
Me : OH is pressurizing me again for the "issue" thing.
S : Toh problem kya hai?
Me : I don't want it now. And knowing that we will soon part ways , it's just not right.
Me : I am thinking of getting vasectomy done. Na rahega baans na bajegi bansoori.
S : That's not right. Why don't you file for a divorce. Go for a mutual and agreeable seperation
Me : That's not happening. I cannot go for a divorce unless I find someone else. You know about the pressures of family and society.
S : Hmmm. And why can't you find greener pastures
Me : The time is not right. And to look for a comaptible relationship is not easy these days.

And its not that I am hiding anything from OH. I have already informed OH that I will move on from this marriage whenever I get into a relationship where my heart is. Till then , both of us are leading a life of convinience. I am living with a hope to find the greener pastures and OH with a hope that things will change and I will never leave.

But truth be told, I do miss my Other Half (i.e. my boss at office) whenever he is on a leave. I am sure I won't have a better boss, but ist just that my hatred for my job sometimes affects my relationship with my "Other Half". :P

I dedicate this poem by Sunil Jogi to my "Other Half"

mushkil hai apna mail priye,
ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum MA 1st division ho, main hua matric phel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,


tum fauji afsar ki beti, main to kisaan ka beta hoon,
tum rabadi kheer malai ho, main to sookha sapreta hoon,
tum AC ghar mein rehti ho, main ped ke neeche leta hoon,
tum nayi maruti lagti ho, main scooter lambreta hoon,
is kadar agar hum chup-chup kar aapas me prem badhayenge,
to ek roz tere daddy Amrish Puri ban jaaenge,
sab haddi pasli tod mujhe bhijwaa denge vo jail priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,


tum arab desh kee ghodi ho, main hoon gadahe ki naal priye,
tum deewali ka bonus ho, main bhookho ki hadtaal priye,
tum heere jadi tashtari ho, main aluminium ka thaal priye,
tum chicken-soop biryani ho, main kankad waali daal priye,
tum hiran-chaokadi bharti ho, main hoon kachhue ki chaal priye,
tum chandan-wan ki lakdi ho, main hoon babool ki chhaal priye,
main pake aam sa latka hoon, mat maaro mujhe gulel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,


main shani-dev jaisa kuroop, tum komal kanchan kaya ho,
main tan-se man-se Kanshi Ram, tum maha chanchala maya ho,
tum nirmal paawan ganga ho, main jalta hua patanga hoon,
tum raaj ghaat ka shanti march, main hindu-muslim danga hoon,
tum ho poonam ka taajmahal, main kaali gufa ajanta ki,
tum ho vardaan vidhata ka, main galti hoon bhagvanta ki,
tum jet vimaan ki shobha ho, main bus ki thelam-thel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,


tum nai videshi mixie ho, main patthar ka silbatta hoon,
tum AK-saintalis jaisi, main to bas desi katta hoon,
tum chatur Rabadi Devi si, main bhola-bhala Lalu hoon,
tum mukt sherni jungle ki, main chidiyaghar ka bhaalu hoon,
tum vyast Sonia Gandhi si, main V.P.Singh sa khali hoon,
tum hansi Madhuri Dixit ki, main policeman ki gaali hoon,
kal jail agar ho jaaye to dilwa dena tum bail priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,


main dhabe ke dhaanche sa hun, tum paanch sitara hotel ho,
main mahue ka desi tharra, tum red-label ki botal ho,
tum chitra-haar ka madhur geet, main krishi-darshan ki jhaadi hoon,
tum vishva-sundari si kamaal, main theliya chaap kabadi hoon,
tum sony ka mobile ho, main telephone waala chonga,
tum machhli maansarovar ki, main hun saagar tat ka ghongha,
dus manzil se gir jaaooga, mat aage mujhe dhakel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,


tum satta ki maharani ho, main vipaksha ki lachaari hoon,
tum ho mamta-Jailalita si, main kwara Atal-Bihari hoon,
tum Tendulkar ka shatak priye, main follow on ki paari hoon,
tum getz, matiz, corolla ho main Leyland ki lorry hoon,
mujhko refree hi rehne do, mat khelo mujhse khel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,
main soch raha ki rahe hain kabse, shrota mujhko jhel priye,
mushkil hai apna mail priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

Ten ten-a-ten ten

Chandu tagged me for this. I generally skip tags but since I am so busy in office today, I had to do it. :(

1. is the packet of cigarettes I smoke everyday. :P
   
2. is the AM I go to sleep every night. I have one more on this. 2 is the number of hours I work in office.
   
3. is the number of years I will complete in my first job in July. Koi bachaa lo. looks left,then right and then drowns in shame
   
4. is the number of chocolates that have been cut from Chandu's quota of chocolates for making a lazybone like me do the tag.
5. is the maximum number of push-ups, I think, I can do. Its also the number of games that I can play very well.(Cricket,basketball,volleyball,badminton, dumb-charades) sings "collar ko thoda upar utha ke"
   
6. is the number of drinks(read whisky) till which I can guarantee 100% sobriety.
   
7. is the average number of cups of coffee I generally drink everyday. Believe me, it took a lot of calculation to come to this figure.
8. are the number of years left for me to open up my dream restaurant.
9. is the number of Asterix&Obelix I need to buy to complete the set. Peoples kya aap suntee. Mere ko gift kartee, main aapko return gift me chocolates/ice-creams/brownies detee.
   
10. is number of different types of single-malt whisky I want to keep in my bar.

Now my turn to play the devil. I tag everyone who has ever left a comment on my blog or is reading this particular post. If you don't do this tag then you will be hit by the following curse:

"Thou shalt never enjoy a drink
Thou wilt never enjoy ghar ka khana
Thou shalt hate books & comics
Thous shall hate movies."

So dare you skip this tag !!!