The Great Experiment

Well, we were having a party at my place. And we were playing song-request game. The game was that everyone takes turn to play a song which he/she hasn't heard in ages and is a favorite.

So my friend's sister wanted to play a song that she couldn't remember. All she remembered was that the song featured Smita Patil in a yellow frock along with Sanjeev Kumar and some other "side"-y hero. Everyone wracked their brains but nothing came up. Finally, yours truly picked up the laptop and this is what happened.

Aim of the Experiment              : Find the song

Information given                       : Smita Patil - yellow frock - Sanjeev Kumar

Apparatus used                           : Internet

Experiment and Observations  :

   1.   Ask google "smita patil yellow frock sanjeev kumar"
         - ABORT
  2.   Ask google "Smita patil sanjeev kumar movies"
        - ABORT
  3.   Go to IMDB - search for smita patil - go through her movies and see cast
        - Too many movies - ABORT
  4.   Ask youtube "smita patil yellow frock"
       - ABORT ( you don't want to know the kind of results that came up)
  5.   Ask youtube "smita patil sanjeev kumar"
         BINGO - "Baton mein na talo jee... dil de dalo jee"

Time taken          : time taken to cook Maggie

Inference             : And that's why I want to make a career out of internet-media

Q.E.D.

P.S. - Do you have any songs in your mind that you want to search and you have insufficient information about ? Contact The White Phoenix :)

Confessions of a guilty-mind

After getting heavy traffic on my blog due to this and also this, the responsible blogizen in me has woken up and I have got a confession to make. Yes, I am looking for a girl-friend/wife. But I must tell my readers that I am already dating a girl. Her name is Alcy . She is so awesome that I cannot live without her. And I don't intend to dump her even if I find my perfect mate. She is every man's dream. And I have a duty to tell you all why she is so irresistible and awesome . Here it is.

• You won't miss her ever because she is always
  around
• She really doesn't burn a hole in your
  wallet. NoBarista No gifts. Happy with masala-papad, peanut-masala and Haldiram bhujia. In short, total low-maintenance.
  
• The dresses she wears will bowl you over any day. And when you are with her she prefers see-throughs. Imagine!!!!!!
  
• She will never ever complain about your choice of music. In fact
  whenever you are with her, she prefers that your favourite numbers are
  being played.
• She is there for you when you are
  happy, sad, celebrating, tired, exhausted.
• She doesn't
  complain when you are glued on to the TV watching some sports. On the
  contrary she prefers being with you by your side and enjoying every
  moment.
• She takes care of you, makes you eat and
  drink a lot after an intense love-making session. A word of caution
  here - if you dare not to listen to her, you will definitely end up with
  a heavy head in the morning.
• She gels-in well with
  your friends. In fact all your male friends become her fan right in the
  first meeting.
• She is not the jealous or possessive
  kind. She is okay you if you have a fling at her sisters once in a
  while but if you two-time her with her sisters , its you who gets
  screwed.
• The love is pure. She never cares about
  your bank-balance or your social status
• If you
  smoke,
  she won't make you quit it.In fact she loves the smoky environment when
  you two cozy-up.
• One of the best kissers. She
  gives you a new high every time she kisses you.

Without further ado I introduce to you to my "oh so perfect" girlfriend - the hot, the sexy, the sizzling beauty Miss Alcy , aka Miss Alcohol aka Miss booze aka apni Daaru Darling.

Alcyeeeeeeeeeeeee AAYEEEE LAV EWWWWW
*Runs towards her Hindi-movie style in slow-motion with arms-spread, gleam in the eyes, mouth open etc etc.... *

Ladies and ledas !! We announce the all new recipe of the day

Seeing the awful food at the lunch table today ...

ME : What a nutritious lunch
MANAGER1 : What a colorful lunch
MANAGER2 : Especially the "psychedelic green" chutney

.. silence ... contemplation in the air .. when suddenly

ME : Do we have a dish which is blue in color

.... wracking of brains ...

M1 : Baingan ki sabzee if you don't peel the chilka
ME : naah
M2 : Baingan is purple ... psychedelic purple

..... we wonder what's with M2 and psychedelia

M1 : I am sure French cuisine must be having something blue

.. a pause ... nodding of heads in agreement

M2 : Or Japanese ... their food is full of colors.
ME : (to myself) Thank God he didn't say "full of psychedelic colors"

.... a little more wracking of brains

ME : I want to make Blue rice/biryani/pulao. How do you make a blue rice without adding color.

.... The imaginary "psychedelic red" buzzer-bulb on M2's head blinks. We stare at M2

ME2 : That's easy!!! Beat the rice.
ME : Voila!!!
Since rice doesn't have eyes, so after we beat it, it won't turn black & blue.
We have successfully invented the "beaten-up blue rice".

Fhalsafa

I had to put this one here...

Friend's status message on facebook
- "jo guzar jaati hai bas uspe guzar karte hain"

(a line from an awesome song where the lyrics goes like ...
raah pe rahate hai, yaadon pe basar karate hai
khush raho yehale watan hum to safar karate hai
jal gaye jo dhoonp mein to saayaa ho gaye
aasamaan kaa koee konaa, thodaa so gaye
jo gujar jaatee hain bas us pe gujar karate hai)

Reply from another friend
- "Iss baat mein se agar fhalsafa(philosphy) hata diya jai.... toh usko geedhh(eagle) kee aatmakatha bhi bola jaa sakta hai"

Debut "Match"

Its been a long long time since I put up a post. Many things have happened in these two months. To start with is the whole process of arranged marriage. Yes, you heard it right!!!

Life never stops from springing up new surprises. Today, I met a girl for an informal chit-chat - one of those those things when the guy and the girl meet-up and try to find out whether they can be a prospective match for life or not. And the best part about the whole thing is 15th Feb 2008 I was to get married to White, and 15th Feb 2009 is the day when I start meeting girls for marriage. How more ironical can life get.

Someone once asked me whether I believe in the concept of "arranged-marriage" or not. And all I could do was laugh at it. Yes, there was a time when I found the whole concept, rather stupid. But you never know what's coming next. The year started with my parents asking me whether they should start looking for a girl or not. And I had no reasons to say no. This is how the situation is :

- I am from a family where nobody has gone for a love-marriage. I was turning out to be an exception but that didn't happen. It's not that my family is against love-marriage but they would prefer an arranged-marriage anyday.

- People ask "what's the hurry - Wait till you find the right girl". I , being all logical and stuff, gave it a serious thought. And this is what I realised. To wait for the right girl, you must meet one. But for that to happen you should have a social-life where you meet a lot of new people and if you are lucky you will meet your match. But my social life isn't like that. There are no girls in office so you rule out office-romance( unless I do change my job :) ). In my circle of friends people are either married,committed or are meeting prospective grooms. My circle of friends is also not so big that new people keep coming in. And above all, let's suppose that I do meet a girl - Am I ready to fall into love? I don't think so. Its not that I haven't been able to put White out of my life. The thing is I am kind of exhausted from my last relationship to get into a new one.

- And the third things is my friend Rib getting engaged. He went for arranged-marriage. He met a couple of girls and then found one to be nice and compatible. The parents met. They were happy. Rib and the girl Dit are going through a courtship-period and now they are so much into love that no one can say that their marriage is an arranged one. I know things cannot be as rosy for everyone but at least there's hope. I always used to say that arranged-marriage is like a game of probability where the chances of winning is 50%. But isn't that true for love-marriage. You are in love with a girl but when you start your married life, it might be totally different. At least in arranged-marriage if you are on the losing 50% side you can make an extra effort to compromise and reduce the damage. Stupid logic,I know, but these things are just to convince myself.

So, the search has started and I scored my first runs today and after today's day of play I am still not "bowled-out". The meeting was interesting. The tiny little creatures that you see in the garden, sitting on flowers were hovering around in my stomach before meeting the girl. It was just like a debutante facing his first delivery in cricket. After middling a few balls ( read a few minutes of chatting) I grew in confidence. We talked for two hours. And thankfully it was not like the question-answer sessions where you ask about hobbies, music, food etc. We generally talked. It was an okay chit-chat but somehow I didn't find .. umm how do i say ..well in terms of physics it wasn't a constructive interference ( in simple words it wasn't a harmony). Later on my parents asked me about my meeting and I had a real tough time explaining to them that even though the girl was nice, she isn't what I am looking for. For all of you who haven't gone through the process let me tell you this is the tough part where you got to explain to your parents why you didn't like the girl/boy. But thats's not it. The toughest part is saying "No". I find it real hard to say no to people even for small things in life. How do you say no to a girl or her parents. I really feel bad for the girl. This is cruel. You meet a guy and later on the guy says no. I am sure that doesn't leave you with the happiest of feelings. Maybe, that's how things happen on this side of the fence. I feel like saying sorry for saying "no". :(

Anyway, let's see what else life has in store and what new lessons it teaches me.

Among other things, 2009 is turning out to be a decent year. I am doing a lot of road-trips. My first trip was to Jaisalmer. We did 940 kms in eleven and half hours!!! What a drive it was through the desert. Next, we did a road-trip from Delhi to Mumbai in a Scorpio. Two of my friends flew from Mumbai to just be a part of the road-trip. We started on a Saturday and reached Udaipur the same night. Interesting thing was the hotel we stayed-in was the same one which was used in MTV roadies :P. Anyway we reached Mumbai on Sunday night.

Whenever I go to Mumbai there is a long list of people whom I have to meet. This time my flight back to Delhi was on Monday evening. So it was not possible to meet everyone. And if I am in Mumbai and I am not meeting my favourite e-friend Moo, I know I am dead. So met Moo on Monday, we went to Strand book fair where I bought lots and lots of books and a few Asterix & Obelix at discounted price. Such book fairs are so enticing that the best way to describe my feeling is -orgasmic. And if your partner in crime is someone as well read as Moo you are in for a treat. Next, Moo treated me with some awesome steaks in Colaba. This was our second meeting, but every time you meet this girl its like you have been knowing each-other for ages. No initial long-pauses, no looking at plates o playing with straws. Straight away you are into a deep conversation on a topic as weird as " have you listened to this ring tone where this Aunty is cursing a hair-dresser ...... @##$%% " . I had a lovely time with Moo. People, if you really want a de-stressing lunch full of weird conversations where you laugh your lungs out, catch hold of her.

Anyway, my next trip was to Jaipur for Rib's engagement. This was followed by a trip to Jim-Corbett where we, obviously, didn't spot a tiger on jungle safari.

Job-hunt is still on. Looks like my passion for Internet -media will have to wait till these troubled times are over.

Other updates some other time.

P.S - I am planning to start a photo-blog. I hope I don't take as much time in starting it as I do in updating this blog. This blog won't be with this anon id.

Till then, today's song is from the movie Fiddler on the Roof :)

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,

Make me a match,

Find me a find,

catch me a catch

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Look through your book,

And make me a perfect match

You should control your drinking when ...

... your maid warns you against it.

So this is how it happened.

I came back home pretty much wasted one night( or was it twilight?). I keep my front-door open so that my maid doesn't have to take pains to ring the bell for hours and I don't have to get out of my cozy bed to open the door. Anyway, I digress. So, she comes in and she finds me sleeping on my bed with the ash-tray on my chest and can you believe it - a cigarette in my mouth. A cigartette in you mouth while you are sleeping - How stupid can you get???????
She said a lot of things and I had no idea what she was saying as I was dying to complete my last-ball-bowling-hero-cricket-dream.
So, the next day she comes in and the only thing she says is " Bhaiya, bahut ho gaya, ab aap aisa karoge toh hum aapke Mummy ko bol denga". Here she was giving her last Italian-mafia style warning.
Now, readers, kindly note before reading the consequence of this event :
- Before this incident, I was pretty much sure that my maid was happy because she comes everyday to a flat who's owner is drunk asleep and doesn't care whether his maid cleans the house everyday or not. Also, she gets to sell so many bottles of beer and whisky everyday. But after the " sleeping yourself to glory with a cigg. in mouth" episode I came to know how much she was concerned and disappointed about my state of affairs.
- I also knew that she would never be able to tell my mom as they come to visit me once or twice a year and also she is not the kind who would take pleasure in telling a mother what her son is up to.

Whether it was my maid's concern for me or my realization of the stupidity to create a big accident or my being fed-up of drinking or me realising the ill-effects of drinking, the result is that I have had alcohol only once in 8 days. Also, I have been washing my drinking glasses myself just to make sure that my maid doesn't find out that I was drinking again.

For now, I just hope that I get back to my normal-social-drinking ways. Cheers to that!!!
And for a change I so don't want to sing

Last time I was sober, man I felt bad

Worst hangover that I ever had

It took six hamburgers and scotch all night

Nicotine for breakfast just to put me right

cos if you wanna run cool

If you wanna run cool

you got to run

On heavy, heavy fuel

Times they are a changing

Every time I write I "try" to be grammatically correct and coherent. And every time I want to write I keep in mind that people are reading( at least in the recent past). But as someone had said "I will love it if you write for yourself and not for others to read", so today I write for myself.

7Th Dec 2007, was the first time when I knew that my life with White was never going to culminate into marriage. After that I saw

  -  me breaking up with White

  - seven very close people breaking-up

  - my senior in college, my mentor and one of my best friends fighting for his         relationship and in the life that he believes in

 -  me realising my true calling in terms of career and getting a job which goes         on hold because of recession

 -  and many more things which I want to forget

That was 2008 in short. I was counting on the number of days left in 2008. And then happened 8th Dec 2008.  I was one of the three witnesses to a love-marriage of one of my friends. Something good has finally happened in my life. And now I want to believe that my time has changed. Now I want to believe that whomsoever I touch won't be jinxed.

  I have nearly been drinking all through the year. I am nearly an alcoholic and nearly a chain-smoker. Now is the time for me to change. I know whatever I have wished in life has not come true but somehow my gut-feeling says that things will change henceforth. This time I won't fail.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

P.S. - All you people reading this - stick with me because everyone around me will have a golden luck this year - and that's my gut-feeling and and at least my gut has never failed me.

Come gather round people wherever you roam

And admit that the waters around you have grown

And accept it that soon youll be drenched to the bone

If your time to you is worth saving

Then youd better start swimming or youll sink like a stone

For the times, they are a changing

- Bob Dylan